apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
