***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We named our party play list daddy issues
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
