can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
