You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
