I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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