so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
