Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
