This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
