420 ftw
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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