So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize