apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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