Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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