Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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