i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
