I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I didn't shave. On purpose
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
