Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
