Just took my morning after pill in the library
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
