barbara walters just said penis...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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