My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
