I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
