I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
