i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
