he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
