I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize