...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize