You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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