apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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