He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
