We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
