I looked at my own cervix.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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