i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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