she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
