so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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