I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
