The maid of honor just puked.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
