using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
