Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
