Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
