So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
