That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
