he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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