you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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