do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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