have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
