I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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