we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
