gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
