Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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