this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
