I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
