omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
