You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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