Do you still have your period?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
