By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
