My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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