come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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