Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
