i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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