dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
