I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
