i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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