I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
