just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize