your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
