uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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